I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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