maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
