I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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