There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
My balls are so social today.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
