No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
