Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
