Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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