Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i think i have herpe
just one?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
