I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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