Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
