Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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