I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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