She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
