I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i just had sex bonerless
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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