Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
