It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
