You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
