i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
