a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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