awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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