soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Randomize