im gay
i know
yea but for you.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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