Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
