But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
