Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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