Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
