you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
