She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
whose ass print is on the piano?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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