I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
