It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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