so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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