He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
