he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Randomize
