hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
