It's like God shit irony all over that family
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Dignity is for republicans.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
