i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
