bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
