Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
