I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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