stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
