Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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