Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
be right there i have to get my cape
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
