I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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