I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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