do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize