Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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