I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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