some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
