C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
