He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Shame - the story of my life.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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