I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
