you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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