peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He has the fingertips of a God
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize