May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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