Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
