the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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