I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
