There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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