if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
