remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize