I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
