ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
