Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
