WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
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