Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
