It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
