Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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