she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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