woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
