O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Dignity is for republicans.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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