Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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